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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| how do you bottle that new car smell?
whoa there are a lot of people in ann arbor...so different from the quiet summer. it's a fun atmosphere to have everyone back though. new people, new apartment (clean!), new classes, new school year... everything's brand spankin' new! 
except, i need a new mattress. mine sinks down in the middle. it would be okay if the saggy part of the mattress were where my butt is to give it some leeway, BUT (haha...get it?) the saggy part is right where my spine is so i feel like a hunchback when i sleep. i need nighttime posture!  | | |
| last week of work! happy happy joy joy 
they had free cotton candy, caramel apples, sno-cones and popcorn during lunch today to celebrate a new drug application. that's right, cotton candy!!! i don't think i've had that since i was a chubby genderless child. those were the days... i miss the playground. it's so hard to find a swing set in ann arbor 
3 more days until miami...
2 more weeks until school starts...
1 more day till revolution...lol, jk. stole that from les miserables...hehe. | | |
| when people make to-do lists, do they actually finish everything they set out to accomplish? i had a whole list of things i wanted to get done this summer, but alas, very few items have been checked off. i'm always like this though, so it makes me wonder why i even bother to make the damn list in the first place. the only purpose for the list is to be like that annoying kid in the 2nd grade who pointed at everything and said "haha...look what you did wrong!". stupid kid who i just want to beat up... | | |
| See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages, for words
More words than I had ever heard and I feel so alive
seriously addicted to this song right now. | | |
| eric jankowski tells the funniest stories of anyone i know. i got this email from him while we were both bored at work...had to share it.
"Steve Gondek was living with me for 6 weeks the summer after sophomore year. I
have the big room at the front of the house with the french doors, and he's
living in the tiny closet room, studying for the MCAT's and taking EMT
training.
One day, steve has been up for about 2 days inbetween his MCAT class and a 24
hour EMT shift on an ambulance. He's been gone for a long time, and I'm not
sure when he's returning, or if he has returned yet. Anyhow, i come home in the
afternoon and find a stack of porn on my bed. Dirty, nasty, filty porn. I'm
like "ha ha ha, steve put porn in my bed."
Naturally, the first thing that pops into my head is how to get him back. I
spend the next 4.5 hours with Sam, meticulously cutting every pornographic
photograph out of the stack of magazines. We completely, COMPLETELY wallpaper
steve's room. There are pictures of dildos taped around his cans of tuna.
There are naked women in the breast pocket of every one of his shirts. Every
20 pages or so in steve's dictionary- porn. In between every coffee filter on
top of his coffee machine- porn. In his shoes- porn. On every dollar bill in
his wallet- porn. Nothing was left untouched.
So now it's about 11:30 so I go out to party with my housemates, happy with the
revenge I have exacted on steve. Steve comes home from his 24 hour shift,
ready for a good night's sleep and to see his parents in the morning when they
come to visit ann arbor. And he comes home to the altar of nastiness.
Fast forward another 3 hours.
I come home from the party wasted. I stumble in and go to my room. Naturally,
plastered all over my door is porn. Ha ha ha, saw that coming. Anyhow, I'm
about to peel it off and go to bed, when I notice in the center of the porn
there is a plain white sheet of computer paper. On this piece of computer
paper is printed "Happy Easter Jackass." I'm like "huh?" and I go into my
room.
On the floor in front of my room is a pile of empty egg cartons. Eight empty
dozen foam containers, to be exact. But where are the eggs?
Naturally, they were hidden EVERYWHERE. In my drawers, inside my socks inside
of my drawers, in my computer, in my pillow, in my bed. Everywhere.
I spend the next hour or so finding all the eggs but 3. I can't find the last 3
eggs.
I go wake up steve and i'm like "not funny... where are the last eggs?" He said
he'd tell me if I made him dinner twice. I gave him the usual "screw you" and
got back to searching. Finally, i conceded and agreed to make him 1 lunch in
return for the last 3 eggs. He pulled them out of his pocket and handed them
to me. Steve had gotten me good.
The next day I made steve the best reuben sandwich he's ever had in his life-
and he'll tell you the same. It was great. He even gave me half.
After lunch, we were sitting in the house contemplating what to do with the 96
eggs. The solution was obvious: hard boil all of them.
So we spend the afternoon hardboiling all of the eggs. Now we have 96 hard
boiled eggs in the two refrigerators in our kitchen. We eat some. We eat some
more, but all the plain white eggs are boring. Steve and I bought some
sharpies and started drawing on the eggs. We drew faces, designs, and
eventually started drawing caricatures of each other and our housemates on the
eggs.
So now you could come downstairs, open the fridge, and eat your friend's head.
Kinda fun. Then one day I have a great idea. I write on an egg: "By reading
this sentence, you agree to hold this egg until you see Steve Gondek, and then
throw this egg at him."
Sam happened to pick up that egg, and waited all day to throw it at steve. He
smacked steve in the head with it, and steve was like "what the hell was that
for?!" Sam answered in truth: "egg told me to"
and thus another chapter in the story of attack and revenge began..."
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